On Relationships, Harry Potter and Drunken Chats

I’ve just spent the weekend with my best friend at the Green Man Festival (blog post about festivaling to follow), and my best friend and I have a wonderful habit of philosophising and contemplating the world when together, particularly after a lot of alcohol has been consumed. Well, I say philosophising, we are probably slurring drunkenly and shouting, “Aye, fair dos mate!” every two minutes while pouring copious amounts of alcohol into a mug.

That aside, one thing we contemplated several times over the weekend was our current relationships and lack of previous ones. I won’t regale you with our drunken chat but the gist of it was that my adolescence had no prepared me for a serious relationship like it was supposed to (by these relationships I mean the proper adult relationships with the meeting of the parents and considering the big terrifying F*****).

When I was 15 years old my friends were having their first relationships, drunken fumbles at house parties while drinking Blue Wicked and tentative handholding at the school gate. What did I do with my late adolescence? I read Harry Potter, wrote FanFiction and listened to My Chemical Romance. In no way do I consider this a waste of my youth. I still enjoy Harry Potter, still have a quick fling with my favourite FanFics and love a bit of MCR. In contrast the majority of contemporises have now broken up with their first loves and are moving on to their new shiny squeeze.

But this adolescence of wizards left me at a loose end, relationship wise. I did not do relationships, a fact I told my Lady Friend when we started dating. Well, my wording at that point was slightly off; I said, “I don’t do relationships”, which was almost taken the wrong way. I had never had a meeting of the parents, an introduction to the friends and never even had a proper first kiss that wasn’t fueled by alcohol in a club at two in the morning. So going into a relationship was scary.

So where does this leave me now. I have been in a relationship with the LF for just over four months. Four wonderful months where things just seemed to have happened naturally. Nothing has been painful, or forced, or fake. It’s just been. I’m not saying I’m not incapable at times. I am. But I think we are working it out pretty well, I still have crazy ‘what am I doing’ moments, but they are followed up by laughs, and jokes and that takes away the scary moments.

Love
Perfect…but with many and varied flaws.
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You

You

Before I saw You the music shook me. It fell over my body shattering my bones as I drowned my brains in toxins. Poisons for which I paid a price. The floor glued me in place, held, captured by fallen joy and last night dreams of the night. But seeing You slowed it down. Made the music soothe me and made my feet become as air. Able to float away but I allowed myself to he held in this world. Embraced with Your eyes. Time seemed to slow; seconds stretched to eons and seasons flew. And you my private treasure moved. Hair spilled around You. Lost in a tornado of your own making. A tornado of blood which swirled around You. Drawing everyone to You.

I made my way towards You. I could hear You calling, beckoning me to be by Your side. To touch You, to feel You, to put my fingers in You. I am almost there my love. To hear your sweet voice for the first. To touch the fire that surrounds You and let myself burn.

He touches You. Holds You from behind, and breathes in the smog and ash. You smile, teeth invite him and lips allow him. It’s he You will welcome into You tonight. He who will touch You and make You roar with pleasure.

All I had with You was the time when the music slowed and I watched You, My Girl who stopped time.