Dear 16 Year Old Me – Poetry

Dear 16 year old me
Yes, at the age of 24 you are still overweight
And you’re still wearing those same glasses
You never really became cool
Although at the age of 19 you had a hair crisis
And just stopped caring

Dear 16 year old me
That music really sucks
You know you don’t like deathmetal
Go put some B*Witched on your iPod
Go on…you know you want to
And stop wearing that black lipstick
You secretly know it doesn’t look good

Dear 16 year old me
Remember when you read that book
And assured yourself it was a phase
It wasn’t
So stop kissing boys in bars
And when someone tells you they live in a castle
Don’t believe them
You will lose not only a significant amount of dignity that night
But also a very nice cardigan

Dear 16 year old me
Someone will call you beautiful
Even when you have a spot the size of the moon on your face
And some friendships will last 400 miles
And some days the world will be absolutely perfect

Dear 16 year old me
You will make some mistakes
Being catatonic in the knife capital of Europe
That’s a low point
And breaking your ankle on Hogmanay another
But in all honesty
Don’t worry to much
At least this far
It’s been alright

 

Shockingly this friendship has lasted 400 miles
Shockingly this friendship has lasted 400 miles

My 16th Birthday Party

On Relationships, Harry Potter and Drunken Chats

I’ve just spent the weekend with my best friend at the Green Man Festival (blog post about festivaling to follow), and my best friend and I have a wonderful habit of philosophising and contemplating the world when together, particularly after a lot of alcohol has been consumed. Well, I say philosophising, we are probably slurring drunkenly and shouting, “Aye, fair dos mate!” every two minutes while pouring copious amounts of alcohol into a mug.

That aside, one thing we contemplated several times over the weekend was our current relationships and lack of previous ones. I won’t regale you with our drunken chat but the gist of it was that my adolescence had no prepared me for a serious relationship like it was supposed to (by these relationships I mean the proper adult relationships with the meeting of the parents and considering the big terrifying F*****).

When I was 15 years old my friends were having their first relationships, drunken fumbles at house parties while drinking Blue Wicked and tentative handholding at the school gate. What did I do with my late adolescence? I read Harry Potter, wrote FanFiction and listened to My Chemical Romance. In no way do I consider this a waste of my youth. I still enjoy Harry Potter, still have a quick fling with my favourite FanFics and love a bit of MCR. In contrast the majority of contemporises have now broken up with their first loves and are moving on to their new shiny squeeze.

But this adolescence of wizards left me at a loose end, relationship wise. I did not do relationships, a fact I told my Lady Friend when we started dating. Well, my wording at that point was slightly off; I said, “I don’t do relationships”, which was almost taken the wrong way. I had never had a meeting of the parents, an introduction to the friends and never even had a proper first kiss that wasn’t fueled by alcohol in a club at two in the morning. So going into a relationship was scary.

So where does this leave me now. I have been in a relationship with the LF for just over four months. Four wonderful months where things just seemed to have happened naturally. Nothing has been painful, or forced, or fake. It’s just been. I’m not saying I’m not incapable at times. I am. But I think we are working it out pretty well, I still have crazy ‘what am I doing’ moments, but they are followed up by laughs, and jokes and that takes away the scary moments.

Love
Perfect…but with many and varied flaws.